Erotica: Brandy Melville’s Wet Dream

This horny-funny piece of fiction was first published in Editorial Magazine’s Total Pet vol 2, but below is a reworked (better) version I read March 14, 2022 at the launch of Lily Lady’s Quickie (dream boy book club).

Kayleigh lifted the plastic and chrome travel mug to her lips. The lid wasn’t screwed on right and oat milk latte dribbled onto her white v-neck.

“Fuck.”

Madison, who’d been sitting across from Kayleigh on the hotel room’s other double bed, jumped up and scurried to the bathroom. “Don’t worry,” she vocal-fried, returning with a facecloth run under warm water. “I can get it out.” 

Her gel-manicured hands started dabbing at the stain.

“I’m such a klutz,” whined Kayleigh. Her aquamarine bralette shone through the wet patch growing on her chest.

As she pawed at her friend with the wet face cloth, Madison caught a glimpse of the two of them in the mirror. Matching Ugg boots. Matching pink knit “pussy” hats. The difference — Kayleigh was brunette, her features a little scrunched and bitchy. Madison was blonde and perfectly proportioned. If Kayleigh was a Bratz doll, Madison was a Barbie. 

Beside them on the polyester bedspread a flourescent-green bristol board sign with “Girl Bosses Against Trump” hand-drawn in black Sharpie block letters. The “o” in bosses was a flower. 

It’d been Kayleigh, the brunette’s idea to come to D.C. for the Women’s March, but Madison, the blonde, had put the hotel room on her credit card and ordered the hats off Etsy. The two had become fast friends the year before, working in the marketing department of a skincare company. A few months ago Kayleigh had been fired. She’d got caught fucking a security guard in the bathroom. 

When Madison told her boyfriend Jake, he’d made a mean face. She’d cried because she’d lost her best friend at work and her boyfriend was making it worse by being a dick.

Once Kayleigh had said she’d rather eat a dead baby than use the company they worked for’s skincare products. She was a K-beauty devotee and had serious credit card debt from maintaining her glass skin complexion with a 10-step routine. Still that hadn’t kept her from stealing bottles of toner and moisturizer from the office.

Madison thought Kayleigh was brave.

“It’s not coming out is it.” Kayleigh pouted at the stain. “Maybe I need to soak it.”

She lifted the shirt overhead. Her balayage hair, mahogany streaked with caramel, now a halo of static. 

In the bathroom she rinsed the stained shirt while ranting at Madison, shouting like a know-it-all over running water, “My mom told me animal rights were, like, a bigger deal than feminism. In, like, the nineties, people would, like, throw paint on your fur coat.”

Madison, the blonde, listened as she scrutinized the size of her pores in the mirror.

Kayleigh, the brunette, returned from the bathroom in just a turquoise bra, having left her T-shirt to soak in a puddle in the sink. 

Finding Madison lost in her reflection made Kayleigh’s throat close a little. She wanted to freeze that moment.

Kayleigh thought Madison was so pure. 

She desperately needed a better moisturizer though.

“Here, try this.” Kayleigh grabbed a tube of lotion from her ran-through Gucci Marmont, the zigzag-stitched leather bag a dirtied shade of pepto bismol. She squirted a dime-sized amount of glimmering goop onto her middle and index fingers. “Close your eyes,” she dabbed Madison’s forehead, cheeks, and chin, massaging the white globs slowly into the other girl’s face.

Madison’s nose was the prettiest little ski jump. 

Kayleigh felt warm and goopy where her stretch denim jeans rubbed against her crotch.

She leaned closer, breathing in Madison’s smell, sour sweat mixed with floral shampoo. 

Their lips collided, soft like clouds.

Next came a flurry of unzipped flies and unhooked bras. They melted together, naked except for their pink hats with the knit cat ears.

Nose to nose, they embraced on the bed, pulsing their hips to a steady beat. Clit rubbed thigh. Nipples grazed chest, electrified. 

Madison could hump like this forever. She didn’t miss Jake’s slightly larger than average cock. Sure, she loved how his engorged member pressed against her walls filling her up until she forgot she existed. But pressing her body into another one just like it, her desire was a ray of sunshine. Everything bright and new like heaven.

Kayleigh mounted Madison who stayed lying down, her arms folded overhead framing her knitted pink ears. The girls’ legs criss-crossed. Their pussy lips spread open as they rubbed together making one another’s hairless goosebumped skin all wet and shiny. Kayleigh set the rhythm gyrating into Madison whose round jiggly breasts were splayed out to the sides, with each thrust a ricochet shocked through their jelly. Kayleigh bit her lip. She gripped Madison’s porcelain-white thigh with both hands, grinding in little circles as they volleyed grunts back and forth like tennis players on TV.

“EEEEEE!”

“OUUGHHH!” 

Madison felt liquified into an ocean of sameness. She let herself float away, forgetting about fracking’s contamination of groundwater, anti-vax autism conspiracies, the Blackstone Group’s monopoly of global real estate, catastrophic effects of rising sea levels, the existential threat to Roe v. Wade, formerly incarcerated persons’ right to vote, decolonizing beauty standards, the pervasiveness of intimate partner violence, North Korea’s weapons of mass destruction, intergenerational inheritance of trauma, sectarian violence in the Middle East, access to gender-conforming healthcare, if all ketamine is being laced with Fentanyl, the increasing wealth gap, digital redlining, the refugee crisis, xenophobia, GMOs, and bisexual erasure.

“EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”

“OOOOOUUUUUGGGHHHH”

Kayleigh whiteknuckled her grip on Madison, who bucked her hips with each grind. Faster harder. Faster harder. Madison’s asshole felt giant. Her cheeks hot. The borders of her being disintegrated as an orgasm churned deep inside her pelvic floor. She heard panting, not sure if it was her or Kayleigh. Madison imagined how they looked,

“EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”

a tangle of skinny white limbs,

“OOOOOUUUUUGGGHHHH”

long hair,

“EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”

pink knit cat ears.

“OOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUGGGHHHH”

Madison reached up and pinched Kayleigh’s nipple, triggering her head to throw back and bump the travel mug full of tepid latte. A starburst exploded in each of their pale lithe bodies just as the dairy-free beverage seeped like warm piss into the sheets.